Love is Lost.

I dont remember the last time I saw your face and my heart lit up at the fact that you were still here. Ready for anything and everything that life threw at us. You have completely and utterly abandoned me. It's not my fault.
"I never wanted to say this, You never wanted to stay. I put my faith in you, so much faith and then you just threw it away" It never mattered to you that I never had a choice. That If I could, I would have lived with you and stayed, but as I look at the things you post on the biggest stage ever, the internet, I begin to wonder, what good would have come for me to stay there? Would I be watching it from up close or would I have been a part of it? Would you have even done it to begin with? there's nothing I can say to myself to make myself feel like I'm not a douche, but that's life. this happens everytime something good comes from this giant "Where's Waldo" picture. We find one good thing, and look up to see that we're surrounded by things far more enticing, but we have no idea what effect they have on us till it's too late. I saw you, like reading your story in a book. I already knre what was going to happen and no matter how much I screamed and pleaded for you to watch out, that there were people who cared what happened to you, it didn't matter, cause I look up and realize I'm talking to a screen. Nothing I can or will do has anything to do with anymore. I'm sorry all I did was care, and that you didn't care enough to notice.

whatstheFXCKINGproblem?!

Okay, so I am writing this a little late, but I'm still going to proceed. So I was reading Jon's blog and how everyone is saying he's gay and shit, and while I can see how that may irritate some people, especially people like Jon who hate bullshit, I wonder. Why the fuck does it matter? Like I don't understand. Gay people may be a lot of things, but I think (solely my opinion) that homosexuals are the only people who say "FUCK IT!" A majority, and it will always be the majority, of gays could fucking care less what we have to say about them. It's their life, and if you're too pretentious or too judgemental for them, then obviously they need to find other people to hang out with. So who cares, if someone is gay, straight, bisexual, or whatever, as long as it doesn't hurt anyone YOU or anyone else, then it has nothing to do with you. Besides, I'm sure that most people have better things to do besides find out whether every single person they know is gay or not, so if they don't tell, just drop it. Just a little venting session.

To be in love is merely to be in a perpetual state of anesthesia

So, we're doing this rough rider's tale thing for Ornellas and I was writing an ddeciding, do I really belong in the Academy? like there is nothing that I can do that is considered art, not really anyways. Like, im not good at art, i suck at writing and there really is no music aspect in it, so why am i there? I saw this picture and thought, wouldnt it be amazing if I could take pictures like this? who wouldnt want to be good at SOMETHING. anyways, but that's not the case. Like Jon, I also wish I could explain myself to you guys, not like most people read this thing anyways, but for the people who do, I'm sorry that you wasted (insertamountofminutes) reading this pathetic post.